Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
