Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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