all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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