dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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