I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
