I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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