The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
