Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
My penis needs a shock collar
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My ass is underappreciated
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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