well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
