I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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