so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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