ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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