I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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