I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Randomize
