if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
