I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
