why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
my sisters under your porch take her home
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
