Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
