They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Randomize
