I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
