If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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