Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
