yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
