Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You're breaking my sexual little heart
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
