those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
3pm strippers are depressing
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
whose ass print is on the piano?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
