If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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