So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
