you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We had to coat check the pizza.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I think weed is turning my hair brown
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
