if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
