Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
