google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
