Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
