so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
