I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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