I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
