Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
