my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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