new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
