Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
