when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
