So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
