A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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