How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
