Whoa Z and x make the same sound
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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