I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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