That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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