her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
