Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
