You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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