I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
