dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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