Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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