I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
