Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
