i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
