I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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